November 15 and 16, 2003

MBYC Turkey Regatta

An annonymous report that came in from Tortuga's owner (name withheld):

10AM... the call goes out.. <<ring ring>>

crew: "Hello"

skipper: "CODE RED! CODE RED! Dude, it is nuking down here and we would be greatly remiss if we spend the day working on the boat and not SAILING THE BOAT!"

crew: "You are suggesting we spend the day sailing instead of cutting and running bungee cords?"

skipper: "Yes. There's a steady 10-15 knots! And we should be sailing.... not to mention I was out drinking late last night and soaking in Mission Bay after a good rain is great for my complexion!"

crew: "I'll be there right after I spark up the water heater pilot light at my "once was very nearly burned down" house... do you know anything about lighting a pilot flame? I'd hate to burn it down now."

skipper: <mental head slap> "Ah, yea, look for the directions nearby"

crew: "Okay! Good idea! Drag the boat to MBYC. I'll see you in an hour or so"

11:08AM... a 505 is spotted travelling 35mph around the 270 deg turn onto W. Mission Bay Drive. crew: "Oh shit, that looks like my trailer behind his truck. I hope the tires don't explode."

11:09AM... the tires do not explode.

11:15AM... two trucks and a boat begin rigging.

11:47AM... two kids squeeze into wet suits.

12:03PM... two kids squeeze off a few swear words as the starting gun is heard from across the water.

12:18PM... two kids engage in a 'chase the boys around while yelling insults' before lunch break (in very marginal trapping conditions)...

Unfortunately it was all down hill from there. What started as the abandonment for high thrill and great adventure turned into a dismal showing for the young lads: a DNS (did not start), DTM (drank too much and forgot the finishing position), SWC (Sailed the Wrong Course) in search for a F**ing F*XTROT weather mark flag that was moved by... about 1/2 mile... Note: place was also forgotten by the time kids left parking lot.

Those crazy young boys were never identified, because they had stolen the sail inventory off Tortuga and they got away before the bar bill was paid. If anyone claims that Geoff and Ben were there, they are, in fact, lying.

All in all, I heard it was a very fun sunny day that we spent getting Tortuga ready for ABYC. Also, we successful missed 100% of the Chargers game. The only "roll tacks" we worked on were "growing the belly roll" as we tacked down some beers. - Ben PS The awarded bird looked a lot bigger on TV

Not necessarily written by Ben Wood

A report in response from Tortuga's driver of record:

So apparently the skipper was not the only person drinking around that event as Ben... errr... I mean the mystery Crew forgot a few details.

1) yeah- we missed the first start. Fortunately, we were slow to make amends.

2) We did make the second start. It could have been my worst start ever (on port, behind everyone and with no boat speed) but we made it and hit the first weather mark in distant 4th place. We did, however, find some real speed during the downwind leg and reeled in and then passed Kitty to leward and then placed ourselves two-three boat lenghts in front of her on the layline with no chance of an overlap. That felt very good. I don't like to hurt people, but I did take a bit of sadistic joy in the pain in the Johns faces as we decisively passed them below. Something about putting the center board up! On the next weather leg, we took out FreeBee and focused on Fever. They finished 1/2 boat length ahead of us after we rode a great lift up to the finish. A very fun race and we finished with the newest member of the fleet (and new owner of White Trash- Mark MacCafferty) looking over his shoulder with worry in his eyes.

3) Between races, we decided another tactic would be to get all four boats in a gybing drill. Not only did this prove to us we were faster gybing than they were, but also caused crews to damage their boats. Unfortunately, we did too. Oh well, the best laid plans....

4) For race three, we went after Kitty hard from the start and battled all the way to the position of the F Mark... well... its position 1 hour before. The reason we were so far ahead of Fever and FreeBee is that they were not fooled by our fast and determined reach out to F. They were finishing the race as we both turned around and got back on track! We did get a chance to work on and greatly improve our roll-tacks (they needed the help). I hold the crew solely responsibe for the mark oversight and will take no responsibility whatsoever (as a driver should never be responsible)!!!! Again, a fun day despite the wind doing a disappearing act during lunch.

Geoff Nelson

The Kitty's story:

The first day was light and variable, as we shook the rain off the the covers on the boats. Fever Pitch and Feed the Kitty were late to the first start, missing the entire race. Carte Blanche made that start and racked up a bullet.

The second and last race of the day was light and variable. Kitty got out to an early start, stretched it and kept going. As Kitty crossed the line, the wind died (even more). About 35 minutes later Fever crossed. The difference was so great that Kitty was tossed from the race, as the PRO figured that Kitty had retired.

Saturday ended up a with Carte Blanch in first, Kitty with a DNS and DNF, and Fever not entered. PRO problems.

Sunday

Sunday promised to be a great day. White Caps off of Laguna Beach all the way down the coast to Mission Beach by 7 a.m.! As we prepared the boats, Carte Blanche lost crew and retired. Fever Pitch locked in a guest driver, FreeBee dropped into MBYC sporting a chicken chute ("very strong wind, figured the other boats may be overpowered!"), and Kitty swapped driver and crew (JB3 driving, JB2 on the wire) as an "adjustment" for the wind for the first race of the day.

Kitty downshifted to a rake of 6 and clocked a fairly long line at only 20 seconds on plane! The boats broke off the line and went all over the place. Flat water, shifty winds, holes, cause for a great deal of swapping.

Kitty made to the first mark followed by Fever & got rolled! (gees, you would think we would learn...!) Kitty went after Fever and it was an epic battle from about the "2" mark to "T" mark, a good part of Mission bay. Kitty rolled Fever, but the chute touched Fever to leeward.

Kitty, doing a penalty turn on the next leg was nipped at the finish by Fever. FreeBee very nearly caught up, within 4 boat lengths, and finished third. Tortuga did not sail this first race.

The next race was also very close at the weather pin for Fever and Kitty. FreeBee rounded first, well ahead, then Fever, Kitty and Tortuga. Kitty seemed to have generally better speed upwind, but was slow at times downwind. With little apparent effort, Tortuga actually sailed through Kitty's lee. I don't think I have ever seen it done. Dan and Bill never did it. It was magic. Fever and Tortuga, I believe, caught FreeBee. Kitty finished last.

After the racing we reviewed some details in the bar. I was really to far gone to figure it out, as Fever's crew kept buying, and I had to keep up! I did figure it out at about 3 a.m., but no one would ever believe the long winded explanation required to explain another "Roswell".

The final race was a classic Kitty thing. We exploded off the line, and went for the first mark! This old Dacron sail goes fast in light steady winds, and we were enjoying dominating the beat. Tortuga followed, and followed, and followed. No boats were following.

No mark. Nothing. Watching for any move by Tortuga, we quickly did a 180 degree turn and popped the chute. We were able to stay ahead of Ben and Goeff this time and were so far back, we missed the woop as FreeBee took second after Fever, who finished off her third bullet of the day!

Fever took the Turkey (and gift certificate!).

The club changed out the PRO for Sunday (good move!), Dave Eberhardt fixed up that DNF for Kitty in race two (thanks Dave), and entered Fever & everybody else into the series.

Great sailing. The fleet is growing again, more boats, and more skills: FreeBee sailed great against 3 "superboats". This series was just a much fun as South Bay a few weeks ago. & that is saying a lot!

John Billings US 7773 "The Kitty" a.k.a. "Feed the Kitty" or "Kitty"

And, finally, an authoritative account from regatta victor Team Fever Pitch:

The Cornish Game Hen Regatta

DAY 1

Three boats turned out for day one of the Turkey Day Regatta, a race aptly named after the PRO. Seeing one 505 circling the Barca, he gave the class a start, not realizing that top guys go by 505 time (show up 5.05 minutes after the posted start time). Carte Blanche. sans competition, easily circled the course for a bullet. DNS for Fever and Kitty. As usual, the RC broke for lunch just as the wind was building.

Fever, with guest crew from Austin, stayed out to enjoy the only good sailing of the day. A few tacks, a spinnaker set, gybe, douse, and one good smack in the head from the boom, and we were ready for race two.

True to form, the wind shut off just as the warning horn sounded and we drifted through the Lightnings, Thistles, and Snipes who couldn't quite figure out that the funny yellow flag with the 505 on it wasn't for their start. We managed to break free of their evil covering tactics just as the starting gun sounded. Since Kitty had joined this wicked group on shore for lunch and was conspicuously free of their blanketing meandering around the start line we can only conclude some conspiracy, How else to explain the John's huge advantage at the start.

With crew huddled to leeward we eeked up the course, watching helplessly as the wind filled in from the top of the course and Kitty took off. It was follow the leader from that point on with Kitty 1st, Fever 2nd, and Carte Blanche bringing up the rear.

"DUE TO WIND CONDITIONS THE THIRD RACE OF THE DAY IS CANCELED" came the announcement from the tower. Time to head for the bar and contemplate day 2. There we found Geoff Nelson (recently brought on board to save the fortunes of TEAM Tortuga) unloading.....er...um...I mean wheeling and dealing....um...no....making Mark MacCafferty the deal of a lifetime. I recognized Mark from my recent adventure at the FD Nationals and immediately shanghai him to drive Fever on Sunday. "If we don't show up Carte Blanche will win by default," I explain to John who quickly agrees to sail Sunday as well.

DAY 2

From my deck in Laguna I see white caps on the ocean and hope that there's even half as much wind in Mission Bay. Arriving at the club TEAM Freebee is already rigged and on the beach, Roger and Mike employing their now infamous tactic of being on time. Dave is onto Roger and Carte Blanche is rigged as well. With the wind building TEAM Kitty and TEAM Fever prepare for battle. Unfortunately Carte Blanche's crew abandons ship before she even leaves 505 row and there are only three boats on the line for race one.

As the gun goes off for the start of race one I realize we've (I've) forgotten to replace the course chart that had been lost the day before. Kitty graciously lets us know it's F--T--Finish. At the start, Kitty and Fever sailing side by side go left and Freebee goes right. We've got John pinned and I begin wondering if my new driver is going to force the Kitty all the way up and into the sand box. We finally tack over and go looking for F. Kitty follows. Eventually we find and round F (set up under the Catamaran Hotel) with Kitty right behind. In a move previously seen only on the ballet stage, the John's manage to set the chute and swap crew/driver positions at the same time. With Kitty and Fever battling it out Freebee holds out hope they can catch up. Fever finally forces Kitty to foul ; ) and turns are owed. As the turning mark approaches, it dawns on me that Mark has never doused a spinnaker on the 505. He manages to get most of the chute down and execute a mark rounding which leaves no room for the Kitty to sneak inside. Part of the chute still trailing over the lee side of the boat, we head for the finish. John conscientiously remembers the foul and completes his turn. By this time we manage to get the rest of the chute either in the tube or on the deck and it's a bullet for Fever. Kitty 2nd. Freebee 3rd.

Time for beer, a course chart, and (of course) the wind to drop off.

Race two finds the fleet joined by TEAM Tortuga. At the start, Freebee goes left with the rest of the fleet going right. In the shifting Mission Bay condition left proves to be the smart choice but Mark has us second as we round the windward mark. Boats with big chutes and little guys driving eat up boats with little chutes and big guys driving. Fever passes Freebee (to leeward) and there is no looking back. Well we may have looked back just a little after sailing into a hole off the club on the reach from E to T as Tortuga came flying up to us on the filling breeze. Mark manages to hold off Geoff and Fever has a second bullet. Tortuga 2nd. Kitty 3rd. Freebee (1st around the windward mark) 4th.

TEAM Tortuga suggests we practice gybes (read: try to break our boats) as we wait for the rest of the club to finish race two. Several gybes later we feel we've got it down and head for the starting area. With the wind shifting SOUTH and dying we try to figure out which side looks best. With the windward mark dropped in front of the club and a line that heavily favors the pin we decide to go left.

As the race starts we hear lots of yelling down around the BARCA and look back to see the rest of the fleet going right. Halfway up the leg we decide to get back in touch with the fleet. As we hit the layline it's apparent that left was the right choice. It also appears that Kitty and Tortuga have no idea where the windward mark has been set. (I double and then triple checked the course, and then I make sure Foxtrot is a white flag with a red diamond, and then looked at the description again just to make sure wrong way Billings had done it again. He had!) As we rounded F and headed for T Kitty and Tortuga were still sailing north up the bay. Another bullet for Fever. A most joyous 2nd for Freebee. I'm not sure if Kitty or Tortuga ever found the mark ; ).

Fever DNS 2 1 1 1

Kitty DNS 1 2 3 3

Freebee DNS DNS 3 4 2

Tortuga DNS DNS DNS 2 4

Carte Blanch 1 3 DNS DNS DNS

Bill McKinney